Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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