Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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