I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
