do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
