I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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