I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The Olympian is in my bed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
