She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
