My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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