No stitches, just platelets and will power
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
