I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
