I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
