I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
