Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
