I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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