wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
