I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
