dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i already hear my dad disowning me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
