I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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