Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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