need another drink. this is the easiest way
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The beer is more important than you right now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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