He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
