im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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