u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
