chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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