so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
