omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
