Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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