You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
