I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
