Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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