Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
