I've blown a few things in my day
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
