I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
