i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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