i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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