yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
