she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
