I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize