upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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