Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
