if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Welp...herpes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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