I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
