Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
