Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
