i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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