In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
