I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
