I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Be still, my beating vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
