saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
