Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
