I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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