would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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