My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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