I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
