So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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