At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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