I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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