I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
