I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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