I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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