Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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