two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
