My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
