WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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