True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
