Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
