Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
