I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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