Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
