you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize