I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your penis caused this!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
