I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
