I heard we made out
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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