Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize