there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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