i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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