HIV tests are more positive than that guy
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
