Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
