marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize